Bye Berlin

Bye good mdma, pretentious German country bumpkins who think they’ve ”made it” because they moved to Berlin and work in media, ugly architecture, flea markets, techno, S-Bahn acquaintances, high-rise sunsets, dog poo everywhere, people from the US who look like extras from the 90’s film Slacker, bad and terribly biassed journalism, appalling sexism, affordable organic food, tasty veggie burgers, ”don’t mention the war”, endless talks about sausages, people who tell you ”Berlin is the new New York” (it’s not), east Europe bashing and the adoration of Sweden, the holy country for Germans, exorbitant rent increases, tourists talking about Berghain, tourists not used to taking a lot of drugs and taking too many, losing it, the nice lakes in the woods, Kotti, Wedding, Neukölln, gentrification, fifth floor but no lift, stucco, rubbish, cheap wine, people who brag about being successful models but aren’t signed with an agency, sad people, rude people, copycats without original ideas, low priced and good international cuisine, low-key racism, classism, sanctimony, spacious flats, everything’s getting more expensive by the minute, guessing if it’s an eastern European or Scandinavian hipster, loud Americans shouting, tourists taking embarrassing The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe / the Holocaust Memorial selfies, waiting for summer during a seemingly infinite and cold winter, foreign indie bands who moved to Berlin because it’s cheaper and they like the ”vibe”, talking about the new big city everyone should move to if they haven’t already because it isn’t Berlin anymore, that city everyone’s looking for, maybe Leipzig? maybe Warsaw?, bad literature, mediocre music, sometimes a good film, questionable fashion sense with exceptions, unfounded arrogance, cute coffee shops, nice art students and actors, long parties, never saying sorry, show-offs, start-ups, bye Berlin